Breakfast

 

This morning Brambly Hedge is ill. She cannae talk. I don't see that as a reason to stay off school but obviously some people do! She's jus sitting readin though and at some point in the day i'm sure we'll watch spongebob square pants (the one on tv). 

On a normal morning i wake up Brambly Hedge at 6.45am. 

We are all downstairs by 7.ooam. They must be dressed when they go downstairs.

They eat breakfast from 7.00am to 7.20am EXACTLY and then they must go upstairs and brush teeth wash face blah blah blah and Spongebob phones at 7.25am.

I usually jus drink hot chocolate because i'm not goin to eat at 7 in the morning when i can hardly even move BUT of course! The Goofy Goober has a problem with this and so this morning we had a big big BIG fight. It went a wee bit like this-

"It is very bad for your body not to eat breakfast in the morning!"

"Goofy Goober i am not eatin at 7 in the morning! And who are you to be telling me what to do anyway?" 

"i have freedom of speech i can say what i want"

"Eh, not to me you can't!'

"Yes i can. You tell me what to do so i'll tell you what to do."

"No you will not. I get permission from your parents to boss you about if you get permission from my parents then i'll let you boss me about but since you don't have it you'll jus have to sit down and shut up"

"If you don't eat breakfast you wont have any energy"

"I have plenty of energy thank you" (so much i can't hardly sleep at night)

"Not as much as you could have"

He had this teenager-i-know-it-all-smirk on his face which was really REALLY annoying me. 

Then he went on about freedom of speech and the constitution (which he has pinned up on his wall) and all this sort of stuff and i was ready to throw my spoon at him but i jus sat and stared. Then he asked why i cared so much about me not eating breakfast which was a stupid thing to ask and i told him it was nothing to do with that but that he was being a little know it all and he was only 13 and knew nothing. He then said

"Well the problem there for you is that i do usually know everything"

"Grow up"

and the fight ended.

What an awkward adult he's goin to be if he continues like this. He'll be rich and live in a big house with wife and kids but they wont be able to stand him and the only reason he'll have friends is because he's rich and he owns the company they work for! After grand parties at his house he'll sit all smug thinking people like him and he's a great guy but they'll all be walking home drunk talkin about what an idiot he is and laughin at him. 

Brambly Hedge will always be the only one whos honest with him. She'll constantly tell him he's a joke and a loser with no real friends and he has to stop thinkin he knows more than everyone else but that she still loves him. Or something along those lines. 

I could write about something else but i'm not goin to unless i get loads and loads of comments telling me i should. Well, i will write it if my mimmy says i can. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me and Mrs Doyle bought some natural italian soda on saturday. A bottle each. We drank them in the car with a view of Manhattan and listened to a boy shouting at his burd in spanish. It was funny. 

A Cardboard Box Company

I've changed my mind again. I'm goin to keep calling him Bertie Bassetts. 

 

This week i worked late into the night. Brambly Hedge was at a friends house and the Goofy Goober stayed in because he has no friends. He was constructing something that looked like the empire state building and i was reading on a chair near by.

GoofyGoober - 'I'm going to be very rich one day.'

Me - 'How are you goin to do that? What are you goin to be?'

Goofygoober - "A science discovery (blah blah blah had no idea what he was talking about) business.

Me - 'Oh very good. When you're rich will you give me some money?'

Gooofygoober - "No, but i'll also run a factory which makes cardboard boxes. I'll give you a house."

And at that he left the room.

Brambly Hedge is much easier to get on with. I heard that in the past she was a very difficult person and Goofygoober was always the favourite out the two but things seem now to have switched. Shes beautiful and shy and now becoming very popular at school. The Goofygoober is always calling her stupid and it seems shes come to accept it herself now!

For the past months i've been constantly telling him off for saying it but then one day last week Spongebob was home and we all had dinner together. Goofygoober started up his 'Brambly Hedge is so stupid' stuff and to my horror! Spongebob joined in!

Guess who the favourite is! Dunno what else to say about Brambly Hedge cept she's sweet and i'll write more later.

Bertie Bassetts

I've decided to call his majesty the king of money 'Bertie Bassetts' cause i see him sneakin licorice from the cupboard and also on the first day i arrived here i was lookin out my window and he was unpackin the car of their suitcases and now and again (all the time actually), he would open the drivers door and take some licorice out of a wee packet and eat it. He's a sweetie sneaker har har har. I also could have called him 'The Bee' cause he buzzes about constantly. He never stops moving. When he stands on one spot he is forever looking around himself to so what has to be done next. Brambly Hedge says that he doesn't need to sleep, he just does it because thats what you're meant to do. WHAT?! He travels all over the world and never has jet lag. He jus keeps on moving. He even has time to sit and read a book! 

One time before Christmas he came back and gave me a wee box of goodies that the airline had given him. It had a pair of very comfy socks in it that i now wear ALL THE TIME when it's cold. The Goofy Goober looks quite like him but Brambly Hedge doesn't at all. She looks more like Spongebob.  

Oh by ra way she's called Spongebob obv cause her pants are square. Just incase you didn't get that. Ok so.

I've changed my mind, i think i'll call him 'The Bee' now because thats like Bertie Bassetts and a buzzy bee all rolled into one. So! The Bee! He's in Europe right now. No one knows when he'll be back, not even him. 

Goofy Goober

Goofy Goober has braces and blonde hair and i thought he really loved swimmin but i soon realised that he really loves... maths and comic books and watching cartoons on internet because the tv is banned.  

The Is An Example of Him.

One morning he says to me 'Lady Harriet, you need to pick me up from school. i need to buy something.'

It bein around Christmas time i'm thinkin he wants to go get pressies for his family so i very kindly pick him and Brambly Hedge up from school. Brambly Hedge wanted to buy pressies. 

After goin to one shop with goofy goober, he disappeared. 'OH GOOFY GOOBER! WHERE ARE YOU?!' 

We searched every shop, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Brambly Hedge then spots a verra pink shop. It was pink all round the windows and the door was pink too. A japanese type shoppy with miss kitty or whatever it is...whats that japanese cartoon cat thing called? Well it was drawn on the window and there were all sorts of wee japanese thingys in it. So we peer in and what should we see? Something not very japanese at all! A goofy goober! 

When we got back in the car i discovered that the goofy goober was NOT buying anyone presents! He wanted picked up from school so he could buy himself a rubix cube! 

Late the night before, he said, he'd seen something on "YouTube'. A wee chinese baby solving a rubix cube and so, he decided he must have one to improve his intelligence.  

At home, makin dinner. 

I hide goofy goober's rubix cube up my sleeve for a laugh and he runs round the house 3 or 4 times looking for it all the while shouting and screaming at brambly hedge and i 'WHERE IS IT?! YOU HAVE IT! IF YOU HAVE IT I'LL KILL YOU!' 

After runnin round the house he came to me in a threatening manner demanding that i give it back. Finally he saw the big square shape in my sleeve and grabbed at it in a fury! He pulled it out my sleeve and ran up the stairs screaming while i was laughin and Brambly Hedge made cookies and called him a 'weirdo'. 

Finally, about an hour later, i went up to apologies and found him on his bed, rubix cube complete. He said it helped him get rid of his anger. 

  

The Dog Has Got It's Pants On and It's Comin Out To Play

It's not really allowed out to play when it's got it's nappy on. 

Jus now it is out playin cause it's a sunny day and i don't want to bring it inside, cause if i bring it inside i need to put the nappy back on it. 

it's a golden retriever and it's nappy is blue and has a hole at the back for it's tail to go through. The dug is so skinny though cause it only eats 3 chicken legs for it's breakfast and some mingin brown thing for it's dinner at 5 o'clock so the nappy is always falling off. 

Well, when i think about it, it actually gets quite a lot of food at night. it gets the mingin brown stuff specially made bertie bassetts. on top of that it gets some greek yogurt and half a banana. then half an hour after it's dinner it gets dessert. a chewy bar thing. the other dog gets fed the same but it doesn't get a nappy. 

The dog looks really stupid when it's in this state. it's always in a bad mood. i like to feed it chocolate so it feels like it's in love. jus like it said in those always adverts. Member them? with the wuman jumpin on the trampoline and stuff? imagine the dog was jumpin on a trampoline hahaha! 

introducing spongebob & Bertie Bassett

spongebob wears these big white pants. so big that i actually fold them when i do the laundry.

 do you fold your pants? if you do, that means your pants are really big like a real item of clothin instead of a wee bitty of material you jus throw in the drawer.  

after about 3 months though she got a new set of pants and they were not white but were the same size and shape - fat. one pair was salmon pink, one was stripy pink and white and darker pink and one pair was eh...i can't remember i'll have to have another look. last week she got a new pair and they were purple. 

in total i'd say she has about 6 pairs.

The only thing i'll say for now about Bertie Bassett's pants are that they were once white and are now grey but he also has some silky black ones and silky green ones.