This morning i awoke and was feeling ill again. I thought my head was actually goin to fall off and when i went downstairs to breakfast i jus stood there and look at Brambly Hedge. GoofyGoober was goin away to a highschool all day to 'shadow' someone. Heck, i wouldn't like him shadowing me all day! He'll probably be cramping someones style with his jeans that hang just above his ankles! ANYWAYS
Spongebob phoned later and was like blah blah blah all about picking up and dropping off and stuff like that, completely boring I had no idea what she was saying cause i thought i was goin to collapse on the kitchen floor. Then she goes 'I can tell you're jus dying to get me off the phone'...... WHAT?! What on earth is wrong with this woman? Why would you say something like that? I was answering all her questions and being perfectly cheerful! I jus told her to shut it. Hahahaha not really i said "oh no, of course not" or something like that.
So then i'm dead sick and everything so on.... and i think, oh i should tell her that Miss Kitty is coming to stay next Saturday! So i went downstairs and emailed her and i first told her i was really sick and then i told her about Miss Kitty and she emailed back all this rubbish about how she doesn't mind people coming to stay as long as i do my work! She went on about how when my sister was here i wasn't gettin up on time and wasn't doing the laundry and - did my cousin (miss kitty) talk? because my sister was very quiet!!
NUMBER ONE- Why is it any of her business wether Miss Kitty or the Weel Stockit Farm talk? It's not like she ever saw the Weel Stockit Farms and it's not like she spoke to her much either! Plus! Is she blind? Her daugher and son never open THEIR mouths in public! More her daughter! No excuses for being younger cause they'll probably be the same or worse when they're older! When around new people or in a place they don't know they freak out and just stand there not knowing what to say. If you ask them a question they jus shrug their shoulders and say 'yeh, yeh whatever!' and go all moody!
Also, Spongebob doesn't have the type of personality where you can jus have a chat with her. She's awkward and did i forget to mention something? Yes i did but i'll come to it later. Remind me.
Back to this..
NUMBER TWO- The kids were on holiday and i was up every morning before Brambly Hedge and at the same time as the GoofyGoober!
NUMBER THREE- I did the laundry every day that week APART FROM the day she made us go to that broadway show!! AND the day she made me drive 4 boys down to their shore house when she could very well have done it herself! and NUMBER FOUR! she says at the end 'It wasn't a big deal so i didn't mention it before' WELL SPONGEBOB if it wasn't a big deal and you didn't mention it whyyyyy are you mentioning it now?!
She told me when i first got here that if she had a problem with anything she would tell me about it straight away. Now, 2 weeks later, she bring it up? So does this mean it wasn't a problem 2 or 3 weeks ago but it is now? It wasn't a problem because it wasn't happening thats why! The only thing she was ticked at was someone else actually being in the house!
Ok, now back to that thing i was goin to tell you before. HEE HEE HEE! When the Weel Stockit Farm was here i was in the house talkin to Spongebob. She'd jus come home and was goin over all this stuff she'd been over a million times before and i didn't really care about. Half of the stuff she tells me has nothing to do with me.
We were standing there and i hear this noise but i think... no, surely not... and Bramby Hedge turns round and looks at Spongebob and says 'Was that you?!'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MORTIFIED!
Spongebob turned her head and looks at Brambly Hedge with a look that could have been
'Don't be so ridiculous of course it wasn't!'
or
'Don't point out that that was me infront of (shortened version of my name)"
then turned back to me and continued talking. I didn't know wither i wanted to laugh or be sick! This coming from the woman who wanted me to tell her son off for burping!! Then the smell! Oh mee mee lets not continue with this you know what i'm getting at
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Anyway, back to Spongebob being an idiot today. I replied to her email saying nothing about my sister or my cousin or the laundry that had been done or the always waking up in the morning, jus that i could take to swim practice.
Another thing about Spongebob is that she never uses anyones name. It's always, your sister, your older sister, your friend, your cousin, your honey. No matter how many times shes heard the name, she never uses it and pretends to have forgotten it.
When she asks you a question she has already decided the answer in her head and if you don't give her the answer shes thinking of BUZZZZZZ WRONG ANSWER and she starts contradicting everything you've just said.
Last week we were in the car ALONE and she of course had to do her little update on my life, and as always, her first question is
'So! Hows the honey?!'
I paused for a moment and went 'Eeehhh'
Her- 'Oh! Is he still the honey?'
At this point i can tell shes gettin excited and expecting some sort of emotional breakdown from me.
So i jus said 'Eh, no.'
She of course does not believe this because in her head, everything i say is a lie.
'Oh come on! Yeh right!' It really is unbelievable the way she says stuff. Sometimes i jus want to turn round and tell her to stop being so blummin cheeky to me.
Me- 'No really, he's not'
Her- 'WHY NOT?'
ME- 'He jus isn't. I jus didn't feel like it anymore so i finished it.' As if i'm givin her details on my life (and there aren't really any details to give anyway)
'Oh (name) you're so funny!'
Then she gave me a speech on how things don't always work out blah blah i dunno what she said cause i wasn't listening but i knew it was rubbish anyways cause everything that goes on in her head is total rubbish but i smiled and listened and agree and said, 'yeh you jus never know, maybe' and stuff like that.
I'll give you a few more examples of her.
When if first got here in september, she couldn't believe i found it really hot. She just could not believe it. It just came up in conversation that i found it really hot and bright, (considering where i'd come from i thought i was sitting in an oven with great big lights shinning in my eyes!) i wasn't complaining or anything it was just in the conversation and she rooooooolled her eyes right away from me. That was my first day here. Nice first impression Mrs Spongebob! Then there have been a few other times of 'No! i don't believe you! surely not (this) or (that)'
In i think it was february, i was finally so sick of tryin to be nice and make her believe whatever i was saying incase she fired me or something. One day she was at home and sitting in the kitchen eating lunch. I decided i wasn't staying in the house any longer so i walked up to the kitchen and as i got closer to her i hear '(name) do you EVER eat?'
I turned round slowly and looked at her and said
'Spongebob, do i look like i never eat?'
She look slightly put out and said 'Hahahaha, good one (name)'
and i exited the building.
Last week the Goofygoober was nicer and cause i was sick he made me up an emergen C or whatever it's called. It was kind, but today i had to shout at him for being cheeky. hmmmmm i wonder who he gets that from eh? It's not even a nice cheeky, it's a... really really stupid cheeky. I'm surprised Spongebob has friends but i know they all talk about her and call her a man behind her back. He He He. I know they do because one of them, the woman across the road, made a comment about it.
"She's lived her whole life in a mans worlds" was what she said.
2 comments:
woooah, you're in some mid!! heheh
when are you posting more? I miss a good laugh!
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