Gosh Forsaken Heck Hole

Let me tell you first about a dream i had at 5 o'clock this morning. My father must have phoned me by mistake and i thought "Oh, it's 5 in the morning, that must mean theres a emergency! so i answer the phone and say 'hullo? hullo? and all i can hear is the familiar sound of the printing machine." So i went back to sleep eventually and had dreams of the weel stockit farm fallin asleep in toilets with boxes of cakes and my father bein sent to prison for murder of a 15 year old boy aaaaaaaahhh hahahahahahahaha!

Then i woke up jus after 7 and was late for breakfast. 

Yesterday was the GoofyGoobers birthday! So, we only have one fight and it was about the warmest part of the day. He said it was the evening. WHAT? Mad dogs and GoofyGoobers go out in the midday sun! His words were "So jus cause Scotland says one thing it means science is wrong?!"

When Spongebob came home she looked like she was pretending to be shattered and told me her company had lost billions of dollars in the night. WHO CARES? NOT ME! And i'm glad i didn't care because this is what happened later in the evening!

They were havin a birthday dinner for the GoofyGoober and of course i was invited but i was goin out. Spongebob was annoyed but i don't care because i have dinner with HER children every night so maybe for a birthday change it should jus be them eh? eh? yeh, you agree. The GoofyGoober couldn't care less where i was anyway so. 

I come downstairs to get the car and the GoofyGoober comes in and opens his mouth and out comes a huge burp. I was of course not impressed and neither was Spongebob, but did she say something to her son about it? Oh no no no not her precious wee GoofyGoober! She turned to me and said "How are you raising my children! That was disgusting."

Eh! Why are you tellin me misses! I said to her "I would have given him into trouble." (in a way to say "why didn't you give him into trouble?") She is after all the one in charge! Then the GoofyGoober comes up and says "What? Why?' and i said "because you were being rude" and she looked AT ME AGAIN and said 'It's totally disgusting.'

- You don't have to tell me what it is! Do you ever hear me doing things like that? No, i don't think so! But i did hear from your children that you did a f*rt at the dinner table so no wonder they have bad manners!

Bertie Bassetts wasn't home yet with my car so i had to sit with Spongebob and Brambly Hedge. Spongebob was in an AWFUL mood. Can she not even pretend to be in a good mood and then go away to her room and scream or something? If shes employed someone to be in a constant good mood then she should do it herself! 

Oh, but it gets worse. We're sittin there, and the dog comes runnin up to the door smashes itself against the glass to let everyone know it wants inside! Spongebob turns round and looks at the dog and turns back to me and says 'And thats another thing, you're not really raising the dogs very well either! Are you?!"

I jus looked down, turned my head away from her and said 'I don't even like your dogs.'

Finally Bertie Bassetts came home and i made a quick exit. 

...Sorry i jus had to take a break there to draw the dog wearing a nappy on someones facebook page. 

where was i?

Brambly Hedge is nice and continues to be my favourite.